just thinking...

Life is fragile. I’ve never been more aware that I am only human.

 

Have you ever thought about the implications of living?

 

Let’s look at this from a Christian perspective. (whatever that means)

 

So you believe in Jesus. I don’t care about the nit-picky details, the important part is that you believe that you’ve been saved by grace by the perfect son of God, which died on the cross for you before you were born, and there is nothing that you are capable of to save yourself from, well, you (and the devil). So I suppose you could say I’m kind of interested in the Jesus-factor…

 

Life is hard; at times it really, truly, honestly sucks. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. In this life we only have one guarantee and our only guarantee is death. Let this reality sink in for a moment. Our only guarantee in life is that one day we won’t be alive. And that sucks. Now I want to premise the rest of this with THIS IS MY OPINION:

 

I have a decision. If I accept that the only guarantee in life is death then I can choose to look at my existence as a legacy, something that can affect the world around me and then the belief that there is something at work here bigger than me. I can choose to believe I came into existence by the cosmic chance called conception and my purpose in life is to find my own success. I can choose to believe that I have no purpose in life and the only thing that I can do is accept that life is pain and there is nothing more; only survive long enough to die. I like to think I fall in the first category. I tend to think that much of the world falls in the second. I hate to think that there are people who fall in the third.

 

 

Fear

 

Fear is a huge factor in how we live. Even if I choose to live in the first category, my life can still be dictated by fear. That’s right: dictated. Think of a dictatorship; now none of this benevolent dictatorship stuff, I’m talking about having your life controlled by an outside force to the degree of not even knowing you are slave to yourself. Living in fear is not what God wants for us. But what is fear? Fear is the absence of confidence in the living God. And that, unfortunately looks different for everybody. It’s sin, and sin has a funny way of masking itself to look desirable, intelligent, Godly, or anything that seems good. So what about being afraid of going to a city that is too dangerous and there is too much violence, where you might not be comfortable; maybe you could bring them Jesus after the violence stops, right? What about talking about the blessings that Jesus has given you to that person you see everyday? What about the people who live in a way that you don’t agree with or don’t understand? Maybe we should just wait for someone better equipped to go do the stuff that we aren’t comfortable with…

 

Thank God for Jesus. For through him we have joy.

 

All of this being said, I think we regularly misinterpret what it means.

 

I can’t say that God never promised us happiness anywhere in the bible, because I don’t have the whole bible memorized, but I do believe that Jesus promised a life that was not easy, and not always fun, daisies and sunshine, but a life that meant more than what this world could comprehend. It’s time that I start taking joy in the hard things. Think about one of those saying that we hear as Christians… “it’s good, but it’s hard.” That’s right, it is good. Life is a blessing that none of us deserve, and by God’s grace we get to experience this world that is broken and weary. We get to choose to live a life of hope and love amidst the darkness. It’s quite the privilege that God has given us. So take joy in the sucky things, even those are blessings.

 

I suppose my closing thoughts to this blog is to first say, sorry for being such a slacker and not blogging…Secondly, this is just a tidbit of what God is showing me here in Mexico, so I’m excited to reveal more, thirdly is, I really want everyone to take joy in the puzzle that life is, in the battle that life is, to take pleasure in the uncertainty and to never stop asking questions. Without any questions, how would we make any progress? We just wouldn’t.

Bienvenidos a la escuela IBERO!

            School started officially on January 12, 2009. We had two days of orientation the week before on Thursday and Friday which was a nice ease into our new schedule. Upon arriving at Ibero, I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit taken aback. I had this idea of what a Mexican school would be like and was thoroughly prepared for that. I clearly had no idea what I was getting myself in.

            La Ibero is NOT a typical Mexican school. Firstly, it is a private school. Secondly, it’s about an hour to hour and a half commute from my apartment. Thirdly, the people I go to school with look just as European as people in the States (better dressed though, for college students). Most of the people I go to school with have more money than me. Most of the people I go to school with have seen more of the world than me. Most of the people I go to school with know three languages. This is not what I was expecting.

            La Ibero is known as “muy fresa” meaning very very fancy. People call it the “pretty people school.” So you could say that this is not what I was expecting. I’ll just go ahead and give you a run down of my day:

            I wake up at six o’ clock and get ready to go to school. I’m usually out the door anytime between 6:45 and 7:05. I walk to the metro stop “Balderas” which is about a five minute walk from my apartment and I take the pink line to the furthest west terminal called “Observatorio.” After reaching Observatorio, I get in line for the micro-bus number 5 and take that all the way to my school, Iberoamericana. It’s about a 45 minute ride. So this whole process takes about an hour to and hour and a half. I get to school around 8-8:30. On Monday and Wednesday I go to class from 9-3 (three, two hour classes) and on Tuesday and Thursday I go to class from 9-1 (two, two hour classes). Later in the day I take a free salsa class from 4-6 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

            Now in all of this chaos, what is my ministry? Well that is a grand question that I’m still searching for the answer. God has graciously showed me some of my sins. I’ve realized that I’m entirely judgmental of people who have excessive amounts of money and could care less about the people who don’t. I realize that I don’t even know how to minister to people like that. I realize that I have no idea of how to explain why they need Jesus when they have “everything” in the world’s standards. It’s confusing but I’m working through it with some amazing people I’ve been privileged to live with down here!

            Please keep us in your prayers. We’ll be expecting to see God move, because we surely can’t. Thank you

Dream: that which is not real, thought of in the recesses of one’s mind. A thought that has not, or may not come to pass.

In our case, I suppose you could say we’re living the dream. I’m living with two amazing women. Erika Salem is a beautiful young woman from Flagstaff, Arizona. Her heart is inspiring. She came to know Jesus as her savior just over a year ago. When I look at her, I see Him. Her heart is for the less fortunate; she’s that girl who would literally give you all that she was if she thought that your life might be a little brighter. Alicia Russell is a spunky, loving woman from Springfield, Missouri who wants to bring light to the nations. She’s choosing to live her life loud for the God of the universe who has saved her. Her heart is for the students, the young people who will rise up to be the movers and shakers of the world. Once again, I’m living with two amazing women.

Mexico City was a dream and through God’s divine will and unwavering provision, the dream he laid in our hearts has become a reality. I’m currently living at 106A, 89 Revillagigedo in the center of Mexico City. Our quaint apartment has a living room with a couch and dining room table. The kitchen in big enough for about 3 people (if you are standing shoulder to shoulder), a bathroom, and we have two bedrooms; a guest room and our bedroom. The walls are a welcoming yellow and the man we’re renting the apartment from left his artwork on the walls.

Our first week here has been filled with small adventures of revisiting friends and from the summer, meeting people around our apartment building and discovering the grandness of Mexico City. This City is huge. People in the street, selling everything from tacos to shoes fill every corner and create an atmosphere of constant movement and liveliness. The city is always awake and always welcoming. People are in motion at every hour and the warm feeling of a life expectant is here.

So, we are currently living the dream, but we will not settle for just that. The next step in our journey is to change; internally and externally, we want to see the city the Jesus does. The people here are beautiful here just as their culture. Though, it is not ours, we are desiring to fully embrace God’s chosen people. They are just like you and me, it’s only that they happen to live in Mexico.

Departure: December 29, 2008

            Saying goodbye never gets easier. The funny thing is that, the people we really care about we will never say "goodbye" to them. We may have to part ways for a time, a moment, but we will always find our way back to the people that mean the most to us. Maybe we won't be able to be in the same room as them and see them face to face, but we never really say goodbye to the people who we will take along with us on the journey of our lives. 

            If we can look at life as a novel, then we will see that people help create each chapter, but not every character in a book has a lasting role to the end. Though their presence had been unreplaceable, and without them life would not have been what it is, they come and go like the seasons. Then there are the people who come in and out of your life; who appear, disappear and reappear. But, if we're blessed, there are the people who are a constant. And those who are constants are like the nourishment of your spirit. Without them life would be empty.

            I've been saying goodbye to a lot of people. And I've realized that saying goodbye never gets any easier. So, I've been trying to figure out why. And I now realize that there is a dysfunction in my thinking. The people who it is hardest to say goodbye to are the people that will always be a part of my life. The people I love are the people that will be the hardest to leave but will be the one's who I can count on. So, it's not saying goodbye that's the hard part its the saying "I'll see you later" that hurts the most. Goodbyes come because they're supposed to. The see-you-laters come when the please. But, I’ll take comfort in knowing that if “I’ll see you later” then I won’t be saying “goodbye.”

            That being said, how much more important is ministry to me, now knowing how I feel about “goodbyes?” There are people dear to me that I couldn’t bear the idea of saying goodbye to and, in reflection, I have not pursued them for the Lord; or I have pursued them but they are not receptive. If all of this is the case wouldn’t my life be full-time ministry? Wouldn’t I be chasing the ones I love like their life depended on it? Well I’m not perfect and can only strive for that so, my life will be the desire to be in constant pursuit for the furtherance of the Kingdom, and that desire put into action by the grace of God. 

So, I'm Mexico bound. Departure date: unknown.